My Bic Been Cheatin On Me

My bic been cheating on me he say I don't give him paper anymore, that he don't sense my cravings anymore...plus I haven't fully touched him in a while, tired of me picking him up then putting him down...got his head twisted off., lost & can't be found, lonely & deprived is the emotions he feels right now...I’m in-denial that he's in the house with a hand with no poetic style, got me acting like a child..., mumbling.. My "bic" been cheating on me!???? Never!!! We had too many good times together, I remember the first time we hooked up I looked up & it was love at first sight, I walked him out the store that night, first checked him out then left on my bike! We started the unthinkable on the brink of something new, it was you who was there when I didn't have a clue, no ideas or direction no delivery or expression, you knew just what to do...you let me open you up grab u firmly, work my hands down your outta layer until I reached my comfort zone, I began quickly stroking you on white sheets until my palms experienced light heat, when you released the aftermath was pleasant, when it registered it felt like the texture of feathers to my soul ..and reading you to believe in you had me addicted on the daily needing you...now your needs been abandoned so I believe it’s true! My "bic" been cheating on me! Say anything you want to convince him it won’t work, I need action mixed with being sincere, I need drive mixed with a plan to steer, I fear he found a connection with another sista, got me under-covers dreaming bad things, what if he's is being abused lifted & thrown across a room? What if he's being twisted bent out of shape & can't consume? What if he’s in the hands of a nut-case that don't know his potential? What if he's drained & refrained from resting & he can’t get to this mental? I feel the feeling of being arrested neglected while lost & disconnected but I know why... My "bic" been cheating on me! Never will I sit here & not fight with all my might, I vowed to hold him to end of my life, I’m focus mentally open I have repaired that light, my vision on target & the block is gone, come back home & leave that impostor alone, I can make you dis-charge the best, take you to my pad to create your poetic sounds, transferring my thoughts to your body having you spill what I feel is real, we so compatible with an admirable bond, so from this day on I will get on the same page with you, let my body & soul engage with you, I forgive you for the phase you went through, you have needs and my mind was in a cage from you, I promise to take it to the next stage with you, long nights & long days with you, I will cater to your enjoyment & purpose if you stop searching,you know I love my 'bic" like a man loves his "bitch" excuse my French, but I was hurting when I found out... My "bic" been cheating on me! I miss my pen! :)

Just A Verse Is All You Get

Night's spent... Dark skies until the sunrise.... 
heightened senses with impaired vision but the view, breathtaking... 
Prepare to bare witness... sights seen like dreams but eyes open, frozen in time.... 
My guiding light golden, shine... Behold the wonders of the world through words spoken... 
Chosen are those who have chosen but chose wisely.... Finding solace in confined spaces.... 
Once consumed with the scent of roses, now nothing left but traces.... of broken flower vases...
basic blameless basis came from a paint brush stroke... An art piece... An Artist... farfetched regardless... My departure is far spent, Daylight turned from darkness.

Healed Hurt

I am hurt so I hurt and that is not fair to hurt the people who really do care I am tierd and in pain sometimes my heart feels slain

Sometimes my mind feels cluttered

Sometimes my spirit is like a tossed salad

Sometimes my body is like a two week old rose

My speech makes no sense

I hurt so I hurt and that is not fair because all guys are not the same and I know that there is one out there

One who will set my soul to another level of non stop flowing of a valcanoes lava

One who will make my heart pump from the outside man when God blesses me with this guy

I Am My Pen

Thru the highlight of events, from the leadership to the domestic violence…
None of that scared her more, than her writing.
Left it all behind, still carrying the notebooks,
Pain is what she was reciting...
Living her life, the way she wanna,
not caring about the judge,
no matter how ignorant they judged...
she's always been able to look thru you,
And keep writing…

Velvet in Motion

I have never felt

velvet before ...

that breathes

expanding night's horizons

stretching me

to unknown limits

giving me strengths, abound

to share heavenly lights

suddenly touchable

allowing me to be not someone

but THE one

filling your glass

complimenting your thirst

savoring your taste ...

deeply, eternal

before the dawn finds sleep

and such stars

crush

Let Me Adore You

Listen...
Listen deep into my words as if you are sliding inside of me for the very first time.

And feel me...

Feel the thumping of my heart, my blood that courses through my veins for you...  All of what you are feeling inside of me right now... is what I feel for you.

Feel my skin as it warms to a temperature of boiling, the wetness of it, the trembling of it, the twitching, the reddening of it...  all of this... is because of you.

The Possibilities

Sweet words and subtle gestures, through phone calls and text messages,
occupied thoughts on late nights make  mind restless,
chance encounters, fresh conversations, and first impressions,
made on first dates a natural progression,
more talk a lot of laughter and sharing some life lessons,
that your sharing to get some insight into their perspective,
trying not to seem to interested,
but never for a second let'em feel neglected,
still cant cross the line, feelings protected,
discussed the situation of sex'n, regardless if you agreed with the perception, you decide to respect it, 
even without the sex shit, they're somebody you mesh with, and you see a possible connection,
Out comes the affection, attempting to be the mate of perfection, making a damn good selection
this is far from a waste of the time they're investing, your loyalty's no question, hearts move
In a more deep direction, tossing out the fears, doubts and the second guessing, 
less as a relationship and more as a blessing,

Seasons

I'm trapped in freedom,
reluctantly standing strong refusing to fall which actually makes me 

the weak one,
every now and then I hear whispers of a heroine planning to release him

but I never seen none,
I’m married to the seclusion no incarnation of intrusion can come

between’em,
two steps away from leaning in with the demons, I’m starting to listen and 

believe’em,
that releasing my rage would be appeasing, I should embrace this fierce feeling of fiending,
with no fear of loosing out or forgetting about the future for which I been dreaming,
my hopes have departed long before this poem started and I aint worried about them leaving,
so acting out of my good sense and being outlandish seem convenient,
almost gives me meaning,
but I have yet to leap in whole heartedly cause honestly
Its freezing,
from when I lay to rest my head till I wake up in my empty bed,
I continue on for one reason,
I need to buy more sweaters,
cause though my brain may skip through different planes and in solitude you never come out the same and everything you know seems to change
except for
the season.

Patience

A silhouette,
dancing in my thoughts and flirting with my memory,
pirouettes around my emotions provoking and tempting me with intimacy,
revealing yourself intricately, while my minds trying to make sense of the scenes you’re presenting me,
so seductive yet reluctant to completely give you me,
as I tussle with desire in belief that getting acquainted would dull the fire and preserve thinking sensibly,
surprised by my sensitivity,

3:08am

Welcome to my world...
A world without boundaries,
without laws, with out flaws.
A world of beauty and splender,
with no consideration of color or gender.
The sun never sets here,
dark clouds never get here.
When it rains, you get warm and wet here.
Never cold, always the right temperature,
the right season, for all the right reasons,
one, because love is in the air..
Can you smell it?
A world without a care?
Temptations and relations are only between lovers,
released emotions while sensually
coastin` underneath the covers...
Where you can love freely,
love eternally, love entirely...
Anyone, or anything you please,
and no worries of famine or disease.
Only inside me this world lives, breathes,
in my mental was concieved,
and someday for it to be reality, believed.
So, come with me,
take a journey, see the sites,
as I take this new world order
of love to brand new heights...

Where Your Head Used To Be

I could stand looking for hours

At the dent you left for me

In the pillow next to mine

Where your head used to be

The only thing you left behind

Is just a temporary memory

Never wanting to erase it

Where your head used to be

The angels came and took you

Far away from me

Now all I have is the impression

Of were your head used to be

I know that if I move it

The dent I will no longer see

I never want to lose the place

Where your head used to be

I guess that I should make the bed

And set your spirit free

But I will always remember

Where your head used to be

ALPHABET SOUP

Angry as hell
But I can’t
Cry and let it out cause I
Don’t want anyone to realize that
Even though I may seem strong outside I really am
Frightened and scared to know that I may never
Get to truly be
Happy cause my real feelings are stored on the
Inside. So I laugh it off as if it’s a
Joke and I’m only just
Kidding around. I really need to stop this because I’m
Letting it control
My everyday life. I need to go back to feeling
Normal and try to
Overcome this pain that’s forever
Promising to not let me get up. I want to go back to my
Quintessence where life was understood and rarely
Reviewed because I always knew what
Steps I was going to
Take next. And I always
Understood what my
Very purpose
Was here on this world. But now I’m feeling like a
Xenophobe. Like I hate all people but myself when what I’m really
Yearning for is someone to
Zap me back to reality.

These Hands

Crack!
A fracture in time
Your mind collapses while your hands react to the crime
But in your defense you had no defense against enemy lines
Just hand to hand combat
No knives...no nines
But see now your brain stem cowards in and gets lost in the pain
And when ignorance reigns supreme..it pours, showers and stains the swollen finger tips of the poor

Brown Man, Red Wine

There

On a Cobble Stoned Street

in a town where 

my heart finds 

his quick convenient lusts

with no consistency

of love

I sipped reality

tasted the beginning of 

what some would

call a bitter end

however I claim

as a sweet beginning

Swirled 

Sometimes

Sometimes I cry with no tears in my eyes
the darkest of days
clouds full of rain
locked in my soul
unreleased rage...
Sometimes I cry with no tears in my eyes
tormented
celebrated
lonesome spirit

Wanted.., Apply Within

What do I want,

But a tender touch,

Sitting beside a fire,

Hearing just our hearts,

The warmth of our bodies,

Making us one,

The commitment,

The communication,

The trust,

The love,

All within us at this moment.

Wishes Dreams Reality

Wishes are hopes,

We wish for our families,

And for our friends,

For money,

There is no end,

Dreams are just pictures,

Of all we desire,

The visions,

That could be good or bad,

Wrapped in our souls,

Reality is what we live,

Through the days and years,

That combined,

Our wishes and dreams,

For happiness for all to see,

So give a smile,

Each and every day,

For in reality,

You touch another's soul.

Over -->B4 it began

How do I say goodbye to you
When we never really said hello?
Is it any easier to walk away from the seeds of a friendship
Never given time to root and grow?
(Grow into what – a bigger friendship? I don’t know.)

And how is it possible to miss someone
I hardly ever see?
How can I know if you were my hero,
When you rode into the sunset
Long before the credits rolled.
How can there be a formal end to something
Which had no real beginning?

I can only thank you for the rainbows you brought to my storms;
For the silver lining you stitched in my clouds.
It was refreshing to find,
In this Sea of Skepticism,
Another fish peering at the world through a prism.
So, thank you for the laughs we had
And those that might have been.
I really cannot say goodbye.
Please, always be my friend.

Looking For

I ponder what happened to chivalry and romance. Don't get me wrong, I know it's out there. I've seen it and experienced it - what women look for (or at least any women with sense would look for). But I often wonder why it's so hard to find.
I used to believe, when I was much younger and naive, that if you give it, you will receive it...then as I got a little older and more experienced, I began to see that if it's not in their core - their DNA, it won't be there later and it can't be taught, not even by example.
There's also a more unpopular school of thought that your "flavor" of romance and chivalry aren't everyone's flavor. That requires being introspective and self aware. Trust me on this one...being self aware is a skill and requires practice, but I digress. What I'm trying to say here is it's possible to overlook attempts at romance. If you're looking for a red bird in the trees, you might miss all of the other beautiful birds because you were focused on red. Get my drift?

I read something recently where someone asked what romantic thing they did for their Valentine and a very proud young man answered, "I took a nude picture of myself and sent it to my jumpoff". SMH...One lady received flowers every day at work the week of Valentines and she shared with me that the person that sent them, her fiance, expected lude acts in return every night (not the regularly loving we all like...I mean lude).
Have we lost sight of what romance is? Have we lost our way in courtship before and during relationships? Have we lost ourselves? So, I pose the question out there...where in the hell is romance and chivalry?

I believed (and this May be Just me)

I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don't get hurt you'll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay

I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess

I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn’t right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh

I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there's destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late

I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well

I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can't buy people's affection
I believe you don't know what you've got until it's gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn

I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets

I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason