She Remembered {Part 1} A short story collab with Juan Johnson

She stumbles into the door as if to be in a drunken haze. She known she hadn't drank anything and in fact remembers sitting on that God awful bench. It had the look that screamed termites and a stinch that you would surely mistake for a men's urinal at a local truck stop. She knew that she remembers being at the bus stop waiting for the #10 bus. She's had a long day at work and was more ready than ever to just get home bathe and engage in a little R&R. Customer service is a shitty position but she always made sure each customer left with a smile. She was never a socialite and not the most popular in high school. Back then it was her thin frame and slinky build that made her the target of the pickings. She was surely to be the bud of the cliques and the ousting of the geeks. She grew to live the story of The Ugly Duckling and although she had managed to gained a few pounds and curves in a couple of place, she was never able to grow out of the stigma small town life had given her.

She made her way to the bathroom, trying to make sense of what just happened. She was drawing a total blank. Her body ached, her legs were sore and her shoulders feel like they had been ripped from her body. Her finger were bloody and covered in dirt and there was a nagging burning sensation between her legs as if she had sex the very moment she sat down on that ridden bench. She had felt this feeling before but hadn't felt it in a long time. Not since prom night her senior year. She remembers so vividly because that was the night she lost her virginity. She really didn't want to lose it to Bobby Wellington but she felt like she was the only one of her senior class who had not had sex. After she hit her junior year and her body brought her the respect and attention she so wanted, she vowed to herself she would never feel like the outsider again. But Bobby wasn't it, nor was "It" right. She hadn't figured out what went wrong but she promised herself the next time would be with someone she loved and cared for. Some that would love and care for her back. But she Knew for a fact she hadn't sex but had she fallen off the bus, she wondered.

Skeptic Heaven {collab feat. Juan Johnson}

I have been in this war far too long....I have waited to come home so long.....I haven't opened the letter that I got from my sweetie, cause I'm afraid its a "dear john".  I love to hear her voice and to see her eyes in the machine we call the computer.....I open the letter and it reads....:

"In your tears you make me soft, you gently blow to dry me, your anger stirs my soul, your warm sun walks through my fields where I let you lay, waiting for me to cover you....but I can't wait, I long for you, yet can't have you. Searched for you., but can't see you. You ignite my thoughts, then leave me suspended. The envisage is more than physical, a vision unable to be touched. A moment conceptualized in the mind of the leery, anticipated by the deprived. "

I cry....I don't know what to say but I do know what to write. So I sit down to pen my thoughts to my anxious awaiting at home:

I can't wait until I fulfill every thought you have been having, every touch you wanted,  and to satisfy your mind so that you will know that I too, am attracted to you for more than that of the physical. My life rests in you, you are what I live for and the distance between us can never be the void that it looks to be.  Not even death will keep me from coming home to you. Your waiting arms....your warm heart....your soft lips....your loving legs.....your caressing eyes....your gentle touch... If I ignite your thoughts, you set my soul a blaze! I dare to touch such a wonderful creature of GOD without care and caution.  GOD has blessed me with more than an angel....He has given me you...My own personal heaven...

I pace the floor, walking back and forth in my confusement. Anxiously awaiting. Knowing. It will have his scent, posses his touch. Has been licked with the softness of..., him. It will arrive with his word vacating the envelope taking refuge in my heart. Alas the carrier drops his decadence into my waiting hands.., my heart skips. I slowly raise the letter to get a whiff of what I have been anticipating for so long. Slowly running my finger across the seal of love that has been given to me. 

Gently I open it's edge and remove any sureties or absoluteness. I glare at the words glaring at me. "satisfy your mind so that you will know that I too". Damn can he be feeling my every thought? "Am attracted to you for more than that of the physical" but I've heard that line before. "If I ignite your thoughts, you set my soul a blaze", I know I can't be the only one but he makes me feels as if there is none. What is this man doing to me.. I know more of what I want.., I can't have. He was given to me, and I to him but what kind of heaven can we have.? When we're heavens apart.

It's Written...Collab with Juan Johnson

She says to him..."I can't be on a whim like you and that makes me feel bad
and you understand it's not about sex"

He says..."I know that...
it's about beauty...
and touch..."

She says..."that's the best part"